Thursday, October 29, 2009

Dear Technical Support

I received an interesting email from Megan yesterday:

Dear Technical Support,

I wish to issue a small, yet significant, complaint. My computer stinks. It may be the age of the computer, or it could be the age of a child who has touched it; either way, it is quite bothersome. I have to completely restart my computer each time I wish to use it; it is reminding of the days when I worked on a desktop computer--it's quite frightening. I look forward to your visit to our home, so that you can magically fix this proble

The computer froze and I had to turn it back on... I'll continue: lem. Thank you for your helpful service, and especially for the Milky Way bar you provided me the other day. While restarting the computer I was at least able to satisfy my palette.

Love, ahem, thank you.

Megan

Sorry--had to restart in order to be able to send


My response (now):

Dear Megan--

Your issue has been logged, and is important to us. All problems will be resolved in the order they were received. Your current estimated wait time is: 2 years. Until we are able to more fully address your concern, please try the following simple steps:

1. Reboot your computer.
2. Take you computer and throw it out the window. Video tape this and put it on the internet for the amusement of others.
3. Purchase a Miltope nearly-indistructable military computer able to withstand falls from 3-feet, temperatures of up to 160 degrees, and intense blowing sand (as found in Iraq). I recognize that these conditions may not be as extreme as those you describe, but are the closest analog.


Love, er, thank you.

--Nathan

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Buenos Dias Mejico

Once upon a time, a couple in our ward invited several other couples in the ward to join them on a cruise. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for that couple, they became pregnant and were unable to join the cruise that they had organized. [Congratulations Darrel and Joanna on baby Audrey!] Fortunately (or unfortunately) for us, we were still able to go. This is the wonderous tale of Megan and Nathan cruising to Cozumel and Calica, Mejico in September. (Look I'm only a little over a month behind in blogging about this one!)

It all began one Sunday afternoon in September. My amazing (and brave) step-mom, Mary Lee, had agreed to come stay with the kids while we left for the week. At first we were concerned that the kids might have a hard time with us gone. However, our fears soon left when the children shouted "hooray!" when we told them it was time for us to go. (Mary Lee had wisely told them that she had some treats for them that they could eat as soon as their pesky parents were out of the picture. You can read about their adventures while we were away on Mary Lee's blog.)

We drove to Nashville with our fabulous friends George and Brittany and stayed the night there at an Aloft hotel for free (being a consultant and racking up the hotel points does have some advantages).

Monday morning/afternoon we arrived at the boat and after getting through the lines, were promptly told where the food was. Once aboard I quickly started in on one of my two goals for the trip--eating as much as possible and sleeping as much as possible.

Behold the boat:


After lunch, getting acquainted with the layout of the boat, having a nap (probably), and eating dinner, we enjoyed ourselves by playing a little putt-putt on the deck at the front of boat--Happy Gilmore style. Then we searched for (and found) the open buffet for some dessert.


That night, upon returning to our room, we discovered that our bed had been turned down by a wild, undomesticated fuzzy little towel elephant who apparently lived in our room under (or on) the bed.



The next morning we woke up at some hour. (There really aren't any clocks on the boat anywhere.) After eating breakfast, we decided that it was about time to try our hand at laying out on the deck and perusing our reading materials. I almost left my book in the car, but George had run back to get it (thank you!) while we were explaining to people at the check-in desk that we didn't have the swine flu.

Megan enjoyed her reading selection--The Memory Keeper's Daughter. I also enjoyed my choice--Applied Mergers and Acquisitions.


We spent the entire day at sea reading, eating and sleeping as much as possible. That night was the formal night at dinner and George showed off his mad Tagalog-speaking skills to all of the wait staff from the Phillipines.


Each night at dinner, the staff would sing a song and do a dance. I also learned that at dinner, if you order two entrees or two desserts, they don't respond with "you glutonous American pig who is trying to eat as much as possible and sleep as much as possible on this cruise." Instead, they bring you the food with a cheerful smile!

Our assigned hostess, Pranee, became a great friend during the week. We learned that she works approximately 6 months away from home on the boat during the year to take care of her family, earning much more than she could with her graduate degree back home.


The next day we arrived in Cozumel and made a highly-to-exorbitantly overpriced excursion to swim with the dolphins at Dolphinaris.


These mammals are incredible. They are able to jump out of the water like 10 feet in the air and dive back into the water without ever doing a belly flop.


We met and swam with the dolphins. They were very friendly.


In fact, they were a little too friendly. One of them made a pass at Megan and gave her a kiss on the cheek!


I also, then received a kiss on the cheek, and discovered that the cheek-kiss is just the dolphin way of saying "Thank you for not injuring me you crazy American tourist."


That night we cruised down to Calica. When you look at a map it appears to be only about 20 miles away, however, somehow it took us all night to get there.

We took a taxi into Playa del Carmen and found our way to the beach. Before arriving at the beach, Megan had successfully negotiated the purchase of a pink cowboy hat. (When the guy asked too high a price, Megan literally responded, "No way Jose!" How did she know his name was Jose?)


We rented a pair of beach chairs for the afternoon for $5 and tried our best to relax. It wasn't that difficult.



We also swam in the warm ocean for good measure. (You can't just sit on the beach chairs the whole time!)

We asked a couple of servers at the club where we rented the chairs to take our picture. Apparently they misunderstood our request and instead they flipped the camera upside down and took this picture:



When we saw an approaching storm, we decided to head into town for some authentic chips and salsa, then headed back to the boat for some authentic whatever-food-was-out.

The next day at sea we repeated our strict itinerary of reading, eating, and sleeping.

We pulled into port back in the USA on Saturday morning and booked it home to make sure the kids and Mary Lee had survived--which they all had! (In fact, they probably could have missed us a little more...)

All in all, after what has been a hectic year and schedule at work, it was a much needed time to relax, be out of touch (no Blackberry) and enjoy time together. We had a great time with our great friends George and Brittany, the kids had a great time with Mary Lee, as well as with Megan's parents and sister Jessica back home. The problem is I think we liked it too much. Now we're going to have to go again... (Do you hear me Utah friends and Darden friends?)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Funny Things Kate Says

Our sweet Kaitlyn says the funniest things. Check out this random assortment:
  • We saw geese: She said, "There's lots of gooses, maybe they're having a family reunion."
  • We're driving home from Kids Commons and she said, "Mom, I didn't like it there." Me: "You didn't?" Kait: "No...I LOVED it!"
  • "Mom, when Max lost your keys, I was like, SNAP!, we're going to have to be here all night!"
  • Megan asked Kaitlyn to think of new things to say in her bedtime prayers...things she's thankful for, things she needs, etc. She thought for a few seconds, then said, "I'm thankful for bananas. I don't like them, but I'm thankful for them." And that's what she said in her prayer.
  • Megan was laying with Kate listening to the Primary Song "I Am a Child of God" and said, "Kate you are a child of God." Kaitlyn responded, "and so are you. We both are. Everyone here is. Everyone on this whole earth....and Africa. Everyone in the world is a child of God, except God, well, because he's God. And he's huge. Not huge, just big."