Miss Congeniality

When we go to church on Sunday it's difficult to hold Ava for long. That's not because of her fusiness, her wiggliness, or her innate capability to project fluid on you from Jimmer-type distances, the truth is that she's just an adorable and good baby and every female in the ward lines up for a turn to hold her. (She obviously gets her remarkable cuteness from her mother.)

For those who may, at present, be unable to wait in the queue or to pounce on an opening to hold her while I'm walking laps with her in the church halls during gospel doctrine class, we thought posting a few fairly recent pictures might help to hold you over:

(Yes, those are leg warmers!)

(We liked the dress. She didn't.)

When Max Gets A Hold of The Camera (Or Things on Our Countertop)

A couple of Christmases ago, we invested in a nice SLR camera to try to improve the quality of the pictures, photos, images, stills and portraits we uploaded on the blog. However, despite our reading and re-reading the manual several times it seems that the improvement has only been marginal at best (at least for the shots I've taken!).

Maxwell, however, seems to be an aspiring photographic artist. At some point in the last several weeks (since we last downloaded the pictures from the camera), Max began what must be his early attempt to give Ansel Adams a run for his money. The photos below are from his "Scenes from a Countertop" collection:

Photo #1:

• Notice how the center of the picture is in focus while the outer edges are out of focus. He used a low F-stop setting to make sure that the letters E-I-J-E were in focus as if to beg the question: "How is that that the word Meijer is pronouced exactly the same way as Meyer?" He included his glasses laid across the paper to be sure to add emphasis that this is truly an intellectual question.

Photo #2:

• Using a technique similar to the above, Max directs our attention to the phrase, "Benny will need the help of Dora, Boots and a super explorer like you!" Surely this is to communicate to the viewer that his photographs are his form of being a super explorer as he explores the true meaning of the back of DVD cases.

Photo #3:

• Here the focus of the image is not the DVD case, and not the iPhone, but rather the fact that it is plugged in. Clearly Max is pointing out our dependence on power and energy in an increasingly connected world. A subtle call for simplicity? I don't know. I'll have to ask Max what his intention was with this one...but he's in bed now.

Photo #4:

• Probably a continuation of the message from the previous picture--"Your camera (notice the strap in the foreground) is nothing without this precious missing battery (followed by sinister laugh)."

Photo #5:

• I'm not exactly sure what this is. It's either a new and conclusive photo proving the existence of the Loch Ness Monster or it's a picture of the lens cap of the camera--a subtle way of Max's proclaiming his photographic excellence: he's so good with the camera that he can take a picture of the lens cap of while it's still on!

In short, keep your expensive camera out of the reach of a 3-year old.

Daddy-Daughter Dance

A few weeks ago the girls' school hosted a "Daddy-Daughter Dance" on a Friday night. I asked the girls if they wanted to go on a date with me to that dance. Kaitlyn's answer was representative of the response I got from both of them:

"My friend Rebecca is probably going to be there so, I'll be able to play with her, so...sure."

There was no "Dad, I would love to spend time with you and bond with you." There was no "you are the best dad ever for asking us on a special daddy daughter date." Fortunately, they at least agreed to go and we're not to the age yet where they asked me to enter the building via a separate door!

(Max wanted to be in the picture even though he understood that he wasn't invited on this date, but that we'd have a Father/Son outting another time where we'd pick up a basketball jersey and or sports cap for him. You know...something manly.)

The dance was published as a luau theme, so the girls dug out their grass skirts from the dress-up bin upstairs in their closet. Kaitlyn also inquired as to whether or not we had any coconut bras that she could wear; Alison actually consented to wear a flower in her hair instead of just the usual ponytail. So, at least they both thought it was a special occasion of some sort!

When we got there Ali and I did our best to hoard what we could from the cookie and punch table while trying to appease Kaitlyn as she pulled on my pant leg trying to get me out on the dance floor. Once I convinced Ali to come out to the dance floor, we did our best to remember all of the dance moves we had learned from our extensive playing of Just Dance on the Wii at home.

Unfortunately, none of the songs from Just Dance were featured as the DJ just played a perpetual loop of Hannah Montana, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and songs sung by stars on various and sundry Disney Channel shows. That left us doing our very best to improvise our best dance moves--as the 50% of the dads that were teaching their daughters how to be chicken / wall flowers looked on in amazement.

All in all, I think the girls had a fun time and we were still able to get home not too long after bedtime.

What Kids Must Think

During FHE on Monday, we were having a lesson on eating healthy / Word of Wisdom and how Daniel and his friends refused to eat the king's meat (from Daniel 1). To start off the lesson, Megan showed the kids the illustration of this story and asked them who it was in the picture.



"Jesus? John the Baptist?" said Alison. Nope.

"Peter? James?! John?!?" Alison tried with increasing urgency. Sorry player, you're incorrect.

Then the light looked like it went off in Kaitlyn's head and she blurted out what seemed like the obvious answer to her: "Aladdin!" she exclaimed.

I've read the Old Testament a couple of times but I don't remember Aladdin being in there. Maybe it's in the Jive version of the Bible?

Shortly thereafter, Megan tried to explain that these principles of eating the right things has been around for a long, long time--even a long time ago when Daniel was on the earth. Kaitlyn asked, "A long time ago...you mean like 1998?"

Then, yesterday as we were pulling into Wal-Mart to get a Colts cap for Max (he needed more male / sports influence in his life after suffering a brutal and gruesome toenail painting at the hands of his 4-year cousin Gabrielle), Alison asked Max where he wanted to work when he grew up.

His answer? "Work in the basement like Nathan."

(Although he later amended his answer to "doctor", and I'm not sure why he said "Nathan" instead of "Dad" or "Mr. Awesome" I can tell that I need to explain more to the kids what it is that I actually do besides make pretty PowerPoint slides and that my current situation working in the basement in my Snuggie and slippers is only temporary until we sell the house.)