As you know, kids say hilarious things. Hilarious. Things.
Here are some of the funny ones from the kids that I've written down recently (in no particular order):
VACATION IDEAS
Megan: Let's talk about what fun trip we could take next year! What do you guys think about another trip to Washington, D.C.?
Kaitlyn: D.C. is kind of boring. How about Turks and Caicos?
CANDLE IDEAS
Megan (just got back from running outside, sitting in scrapbook room): Does it smell bad in here Kaitlyn?
Kaitlyn: It just kind of circulates.
Megan: Does it smell bad?
Kaitlyn: Well...I wouldn't make it into a candle.
CONSULTANT'S DAUGHTER
Ava (yelling from her room after being tucked into bed approximately 5 times already): Dad! I can't sleep, for 3 reasons...
DINNER
Megan: All I've had to eat today has been donuts...well, that and the cheesecake Kate made me eat.
WHO'S IN CHARGE
Olivia (at bedtime, trying to explain why she needs to be awake still): Dad, you're not the boss. Giants are in charge because they're huge! And there's no giants here, so there's no bosses...
DIETARY RESTRICTIONS
Kaitlyn: Do we have any animal crackers that are just elephants?
WISDOM
Alison (talking to siblings that are bickering over something inconsequential in the car): Dudes, be awesome.
FASHION ADVICE
Kaitlyn (one morning during basketball season): Dad, you have girls. You know just the right things to say about outfits. You don't say "Bro, that shirt is like, amaze-balls."
THE IMPACT OF TECHNOLOGY
Dad (to the kids in the car on the way to school): Grandpa had to sit on a phone book to see over the steering wheel when he first started driving.
Max: Were phone books really thick or something?
WHAT'S THAT CALLED AGAIN?
Dad (at soccer game with a chilly wind): Olivia, put on your jacket.
Olivia: I can't! My whole thing is freezing.
(I guess she couldn't think of the word for "body" and just went with the universally applicable, "thing".)
WHAT YOU GET OUT OF CHURCH
Speaker at church: And my dad couldn't sit still. He literally spent every moment of the day doing something productive.
Max (whispering in my ear): That is the complete opposite of me.
Sunday, November 13, 2016
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