Gone in Sixty Seconds

I think it's ESPN or SportsCenter that has a sixty second recap of the day's top sports stories or highlights. Since I am now woefully behind on the year, I thought I'd just give you--the faithful Comings and Goings of Nathan and Megan blog reader(s)--the sixty second recap of everything important that has happened this year that I haven't blogged about yet. Then, we'll be all caught up. Get your timers ready--and read fast!

1.  Ali's Birthday

Alison turned a whopping 9 years old. She had a party.  In Indiana.

 At the party--

• Ali was the only girl who was invited.
• It was a basketball party.
• They played basketball.
• Avery was a good cheerleader and watched from her stroller.
• Megan was a good mom and managed the whole thing, including picture-taking.
• Ali got lots of presents relating to basketball.
• Basketball.

2.  Nauvoo
We drove to Nauvoo, IL (passing "And I Oughta..." IL along the way) for a family reunion on my side of the family.

While we were there--

• Ava learned how to eat her new dress.
• We went to the temple.
• We went up in the spire of the temple and looked out over the Mississippi river.
• We got locked in Carthage Jail.
• We had various and sundry family firesides and events.
• I played guitar at one of said events (along with my cousin Carrie).
• We saw Grandma and Grandpa!
• We loved seeing and hanging out with Mike and Marilyn and their kids.
• We swam at the Indoor Pool.
• No one got sick, surprisingly (as always seems to happen on our vacations--see a A Christmas To Remember, for example).

3.  Michael's Wedding / Trip to Denver
Megan's brother Michael met a girl named Heather.  They got married.  In Colorado.  We went.  It was only 2 days after we got home from Nauvoo.

While we were there--

• Kaitlyn dug up dinosaur bones.
• Megan held Avery.
• Max got a girlfriend (nevermind the sippy cup).
• The cake was delicious.
• Kaitlyn posed for the camera.
• We went to Red Rocks.  Twice.
• Nathan held Avery.
• We went to the Denver Acquarium and swam with (or looked at...whichever you prefer) sharks.
• Fake sharks ate Nathan's head.
• We met that sea turtle from Finding Nemo, dude.
• We saw, but did not swim with, real tigers.
• Ali was not eaten by a tank of piranha.

4.  Max's Birthday
Max turned a whopping 4 years old.  He had a party. In North Carolina.

On his special day--

• He got pirate cupcakes.
• He blew out candles.
• He got a gumball machine he was excited about (and ate every gumball for it within the space of approximately 60 minutes).  This toy now sits, discarded, in a corner of his bedroom.
• He had a party at the park with some of his new friends.
• He also received a punching bag, Paper Jamz guitar (which Ali got for Christmas last year and decided to give to Max since he played with it more than she did), and some other stuff you can see in this picture.
• He was surprised at the spread he came down to first thing in the morning.

5.  Ava's Birthday
Ava turned a whopping 1 years old.  We had a small, family party (+ 1 of Ali's friends who happened to be over.)

On her special day--

• She got a Build-a-Bear.
• She got a giant music-making block, probably called a Learning Cube, or something like that.
• She got a baby iPhone.
• She learned how to climb onto the dishwasher.
• She cried when Max kissed her.
• She got a whole cake to herself.
• She stuck her face in the cake and couldn't believe she had to eat such a huge treat without any help.
• She ate wrapping paper.  Probably.

6.  Hawaii
Megan and I went to Hawaii for our 10 Year Anniversary.  Even the flights there were relaxing (although I did have to fight the urge to turn the lights off and on, push the "call stewardess" button, crumble crackers on the floor, kick the seats in front of us, switch seats about 15 times and use the bathroom about 20 times just so it would feel like a normal flight with the kids).

(Of course, while we were in Hawaii, Avery started walking!  We saw her first steps via emailed video.  Thanks to Megan's parents for watching the kids so we could go.)

While we were there we--

• Went to Oahu.
• Wiped out surfing.
• Hiked up Diamondhead and saw a sunrise.
• Took a picture of a picture of the Diamondhead volcano mountain thing.
• Saw rainbows almost every day.
• Attended a swap meet to purchase Hawaiian goods.
• Went to Pearl Harbor.
• Took a picture of a picture of Pearl Harbor.
• Saw dolphins swimming in the ocean through the incredibly blue and clear water.
• Drove by Uncle Bo's Pu Pu grill.  (Sounds tasty.)
• Ate ice cream every day.
• Kept stopping on our drives to pull off a random beautiful beaches.
• Went to the Napali Coast.
• Went snorkeling.
• Saw waterfalls and mountains only accessible by boat.
• Saw the Laie Hawaii Temple.
• Went to the Polynesian Cultural Center.
• Saw wild roosters.
• Saw a stormtroopers mask spray painted on the ground by Opekea Falls.
• Took a picture of sand.
• Watched surfers and a sunset on Poipu beach.
• Canoed the Wailua River.
• Boated into incredible caves.
• Saw that our rental car keys warned us not to do something, but the image behind it was all blurred, so we probably did end up doing it.
• Attended the Kauai 1st Ward.
• Sat by the pool and read books / Kindles.  (No Applied Mergers and Acquisitions this year.  This time it was What Customers Want.)
• Discovered a giant metal flower petal.  Or, it could have a been a submarine propeller.

7.  Halloween
We dressed up for Halloween.  We counted our the candy, but, sorry, no graph this year.

Halloween costumes were--

• Ali was a DJ (she made the turn tables herself)
• Kaitlyn was a fashion model (when isn't she?)
• Max was "IncrediBoy" (he didn't want to be called 'Dash' from the Incredibles)
• Ava was a duck (so she could keep warm)

And there you have it.  You're up-to-date, in only sixty seconds (give or take).  I think this should count as 7 individual blog posts--which will bring my annual total to 21--just 2 behind my overall total from last year with a month and a half left to go!  Futbol.

Signs, Signs Everywhere There's Signs

I have developed a new hobby. Surprisingly, it is not music related. It is photography. Well, I wouldn't really call it photography. It's taking pictures with my iPhone (because that's the only camera that I happen to have on me at these opportune moments) of signs and advertisements that I find hilarious. Take a look at my budding collection below and you'll probably wonder, like I did, who thought of actually putting this stuff in print.

#1: Warning, Ground May Be Closer Than It Appears

We found this one at Great Wolf Lodge.  Is this really necessary?  "Dear Guests, please do not walk straight into the ground.  Do not dive into the floor.  I know this concrete looks deep enough to dive into, but be careful--it's a deceptively shallow 0 feet 0 inches."  

#2: Great New Product--But Read the Fine Print

From Costco, it's a brand new product: Genuine Muscle Milk!  It's genuine, but note that it "contains no milk."  I'm not sure how it can be both genuine and not contain any milk.  What's genuine about this?

If it's this easy I'm going to sell "Guaranteed Miracle Cream" (does not guarantee miracles).  

#3: Tells It Like It Is

"Man it sure smells bad around here.  Oh that's why...we're near the exit for Stinking Creek road."

#4: Not So Secret Hide Out

Batman is starting to show signs of his age.  Apparently, he was born / created around 1939-1940 and his hideout, the Bat Cave, was where he kept all of his wonderful toys, and which also protected his secret identity.  Now, that he's past retirement age, I guess he couldn't remember how to get back to the cave and had these signs installed on the freeway: 

"Bat Cave Exit 49A 1/4 mile"

D'oh!  So much for the secret hideout.  It reminds me of another sign I saw but couldn't get the picture of: "Secret Shortcut Road."


#5: 100 Year Old Death Metal Band

When we were at Red Rocks a few months ago during a trip to Denver for Megan's brother's wedding (to be blogged about eventually), they had a list of all of the acts who had played there, and I discovered this awesome band name: 

"Cremation of Care" with the opening act "The Arrival of the Goddess of Prosperity."  I think they were a little ahead of their time.


#6: What The Fish?!

During that same Denver trip we also went to the Denver Aquarium and found quite a few goodies.

I like this one.

You can call it the Tire Track Eel OR the Zig-Zag Eel.  We couldn't decide what it was really called, so we went ahead with the undersea equivalent of the hyphenated last name after marriage.  At least tire tracks and zig-zags bear some resemblance.  So, I was a bit puzzled by this one.

"The Lionfish is also known as the turkeyfish, red firefish, peacock fish and butterfly cod."

Later when we went to the zoo I finally understood why this particular fish had the name it did.  Have you ever tried to tell the difference between a lion, turkey, peacock or butterfly?  They are practically indistinguishable!

This particular fish was a fan of Stephen King's "The Shining."

#7: An Interesting Gift

While we were at the Lion cage at the zoo trying to tell if the feline was actually a peacock, we got a great idea for our sacred and mystical-power-giving Christmas gifts this year:

I'm pretty sure there was another reason that these "gifts" were given secretly.


If you have other hilarious photos, please pass them along for my collection.

Oh, There Is One More Thing . . .

Labor Day weekend always seemed like a great day to go to the beach. As a kid growing up in Tucson, however, we never had much chance to do a Labor Day beach trip. We had plenty of beach, just no ocean. So, we thought we'd take advantage of the long weekend and make a trip out of it.

I still had loyalty program points left over from my consulting days, so we decided to cash in some free hotel nights and see which beaches were open in Charleston, SC after the hurricane the previous week. We left early Saturday morning and drove straight to Isle of Palms beach.

Our first order of business was sending the kids into the water to stare wistfully out to sea while imagining being marooned on an uncharted desert isle on what was supposed to be a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

That, however, didn't last long as the giant waves immediately chased them back to shore. (We had spent a good portion of the drive reassuring them that at the depths they were swimming slash wading at, that there was little imminent danger of shark attack--no matter what the movie trailers said.)

After playing in the waves for a short 2 hours (give or take some hours), we set out on our first order of business: building a giant sand castle.  We were fairly exhausted from all of the wave jumping, however, so we paused to eat some snacks.  While we weren't looking, Max surprised us by creating a true beach delicacy: wet Twizzlers frosted with a light sand glaze.  

As we munched on our crunchy licorice, we discovered that building thousands of sand bricks would take far longer than anticipated, and so we settled on creating a more moderate plan of constructing a simple 3-tiered structure, adorned with sea shells and surrounded by a shallow moat.  (Architect's son.)  

We also enjoyed sitting in the "hot tub"--a shallow pool that was left after the tide receded and was quickly warmed by the hot sun.  (Max took advantage of the opportunity to practice his Jedi balancing moves.)

As the kids covered their appendages with a thick layer of drying sand, even Ava got in on the action and loved crawling all around and "splish splashing" in the water.

At the conclusion of our wonderful beach day we found that we had learned several important lessons:

1. Don't leave any food you plan on actually eating at the beach accessible to a 3-year old boy.
2. Salt water rushing up your nostrils from the force of a wave does not appear to clear your sinuses.
3. You can't push a stroller on sand very easily, but if you want a great work out you can load it up and carry it down the beach.
4. Kids aerosol sunscreen sprayed on in stripes, and not properly rubbed in, will leave your husband's back looking like a Bengal tiger with pink and white stripes after a day in the sun.

The next day, after enjoying a genuine South Carolinian testimony meeting at the local LDS meetinghouse, we set out on our first order of business: taking a boat out to see Fort Sumter.

At Fort Sumter we were able to see a cannon which Abraham Lincoln personally shot at the Russians to put an end to the Spanish American war.

Actually, I'm a little sketchy on the details because we skipped the tour to take pictures of the tourists listening to the tour guide and to find the restrooms for the kids. I think it may have, in reality, had something to do with the site where the first engagement of the Civil War took place on April 12 and 13, 1861.

Once we returned back to shore from the island of Fort Sumter, Max gave us a good scare by running off and getting lost for several minutes before we were able to find him.  I think he just grew weary of the diligent salesperson's pitch trying to sell us a massively overpriced photo of our family with an image of an aircraft carrier on a bright, sunny day in the background (despite it being a windy and heavily overcast day and the photo was taken in front of a green screen).

All in all, we had a wonderful Labor Day trip to South Carolina.

Oh, there is one more thing...

We now lived in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Merry Christmas!

Well, it's been just a couple of days (56 to be exact, but who's counting) since my last post, so I thought I would remind you of the new ground rules for the blog which I innovented back in November where I reserved the right to blog about any event or subject in any order I pleased. Today I would like to post about our Christmas (yep, the one in 2010) which I have yet to comment on, and which I probably should post about before I talk about our recent trips to Nauvoo, IL and Colorado, CO over the past 2 weeks.

We started off on Christmas Eve by singing some carols. My job was to intently try to play the right notes, while Ali corrected me as needed. Max's job was to give Michael a workout by sitting on his shoulders, while Michael's job was to point at the camera Megan was holding. Megan's dad's job was singing in perfect harmony with the others off camera--Kaitlyn, Ava and Megan's mom. All performed their jobs to perfection (as you can see below).


After we jollily finishing singing Christmas carols, we read the Christmas story to the kids from a beautifully illustrated book which my parents gave us when we were first married. After that, I started reading "The Grinch Stole Christmas" in my most entertaining voice to keep the kids' attention as they were already starting to get hyper. I didn't realize how long that story was and ended up quite exhausted and realized that my energy stores to perform such a reading were, in fact, "two sizes too small."

That night, Santa came and left us all kinds of presents under our tree. Max's Disney Cars bicycle, Kaitlyn's fashion hair salon station, and Alison's super automatic Nerf gun, were all too large to fit neatly underneath the tree, so Santa has his slaves elves assemble them as quickly as they could and leave them set out for the morning.


Before we could open presents in the morning, however, Alison and Kaitlyn had to show us what they had stayed up much of the night working on and which they had dreamed up: their own rendition of Santa and Rudolph. They took an old cardboard box and covered in green construction paper and cut out red letters spelling "Santa's Sleigh" and glued them on the side. Alison stuff pillows underneath her red sweatshirt and made a beard using Megan's white make-up removing pads. (I wondered why they asked where those were!) Kaitlyn was dressed in her brown long-sleeved shirt and skirt and they had made antlers out of brown paper and taped them on a headband; she had also taped a red fuzzy ball on her nose. Reigns were made from a medal from some award one of them had won. I died laughing! It was one of the cutest most original things I've ever seen--and they came up with it on their own.


After that we tore into present-opening mode. Kaitlyn was puzzled by the orange and red things she received in her stocking. We told her it was called "fruit" and it was nature's candy. I don't think she bought it. Actually, I don't think we told her that.


Max had a great time passing out and opening presents and then getting wrapped up playing with each one before wanting to open the next one.


Avery had a great time eating the paper her presents were wrapped in.


Megan and I also got presents which we opened and loved but have no photographic proof of.

In short, we had an amazing holiday...6 months ago. Merry Christmas!

Happy Spring Sphere Hunting

You would have thought it was Christmas morning. Kaitlyn came in before 7:00 a.m. this morning and shook me awake asking if they could do downstairs and look for Easter Eggs (or, as they're called in Seattle--"Spring Spheres"). I was able to convince her to hold off briefly by groggily explaining that we hadn't set out the eggs yet.

It wasn't long, however, until she had gotten everyone else up and ready (and I use that term "ready" loosely as you can see from Max's tired eyes in the photo below).

Ava, however, was up and at 'em wondering what all the excitement was about.

While I locked the kids in their rooms, Megan hid the Spring Spheres throughout the house, and, as was suggested, she put several in some quite difficult hiding places:

It was especially enjoyable watching them try to figure out how to reach the unreachable ones!

Of course, Easter morning wasn't all Spring Sphere hunting and waking up early. Megan had also procured some matching dresses for the girls from the website Etsy.

Avery did her best to look like she should be modeling for Target catalogs and Babies R' Us circulars.

Max successfully demoed his GQ poses and neighbor-friend haircut featuring a trademark missing patch over his right eye.

Max was, however, just as excited about his Easter suit and new (clip-on) tie.

Kaitlyn tried (unsuccessfully) not to be photogenic.

Alison agreed to wear a pink headband to prove that while she does love basketball, she is also capable of giving anyone a run for their money in the cuteness department--as evidenced by this head-to-head duel with her younger sister.

Put them all together in a single frame and one can easily see how fortunate Megan and I feel ti have such great kids with such astounding Easter Egg finding skills.

Conference Weekend

As happens every six months, this Saturday and Sunday our family will spend approximately 8 - 10 hours listening to speakers from our church (or in the case of the kids, carefully watching to see what color neckties the speakers are wearing so they can color them in on some worksheets we printed off to keep their attention) in what we affectionately call "General Conference Weekend."

During this conference, the leaders of the church speak and give counsel and instructions to the members. If you've ever wondered what "Mormons" believe about Jesus Christ, what other core doctrines of the church are, what the leaders of the church are officially and publicly telling the members to do or what kinds of activities the church is involved in, but have never wanted to go to an actual church service--then this is your chance to peak in on us "risk free"!

Conference is broadcast on BYU-TV and video is streamed on lds.org, so you can watch it at home in your pajamas like our kids are doing...

If you've never seen a Mormon meeting, but have always been curious or heard some "interesting" things about the church, this is a good chance to check it out and determine for yourself what you think. And if you happen to have any any follow-up questions at all, we'll be happy to do our best answer them.

Now...time to get back to the kids to make sure Conference Bingo is ready to go.

Miss Congeniality

When we go to church on Sunday it's difficult to hold Ava for long. That's not because of her fusiness, her wiggliness, or her innate capability to project fluid on you from Jimmer-type distances, the truth is that she's just an adorable and good baby and every female in the ward lines up for a turn to hold her. (She obviously gets her remarkable cuteness from her mother.)

For those who may, at present, be unable to wait in the queue or to pounce on an opening to hold her while I'm walking laps with her in the church halls during gospel doctrine class, we thought posting a few fairly recent pictures might help to hold you over:

(Yes, those are leg warmers!)

(We liked the dress. She didn't.)