Law 1: Children Gravitate to the Most Recently Cleaned Location in the House
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| Photo from Last House |
Of course, no one was to be found when I was assembling my massive pile of crumbs, dust, dirt, pine needles, and pieces to the game of Risk. However, as soon as I had finally gotten the pile all together in the kitchen and was getting ready to retrieve the dust pan...every single one of the children came plowing into the pile and tracking it away on their feet bottoms as they "had to" traverse it on the way to the sink, pantry or living room (as if there were no alternate routes). I'm still not quite sure how they sensed I was almost done.
I'm pretty sure this is an actually law as I've also observed it in action when they've immediately come to create footprints in carpet I've just vacuumed or to jump on a bed I've just made.
I haven't quite been able to quantify the duration of how long an area remains clean according to this law, but it seems to be proportional to the ages and quantity of the children in question.
Law 2: Merely Asking a Child to Perform a Task Immediately Exhausts All of His or Her Energy, Completely
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| Max Wearing Pajama Pants; Not Speedo |
Fortunately, he was able to regain some strength once we got to his bedroom, but once I asked him to get dressed for bed, again his strength completely failed him and he fell to the floor again. "I can't move."
I just need to learn how to harness this power for good, as in when he's running for the street without looking both ways, instead of yelling "Max! Stop!" I'll just yell, "Max, come clean your room right now!"
Law 3: If There Is A Way To Fight Over It, They Will Find It
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| Stock Photo of Kaitlyn (Not Reflective of Current Short Haircut) |
I should have learned from our experience with family prayer: When there was too much fighting about whose turn it was to say the prayer, we typed up a calendar with assignments of who would say the prayer each night. While that did stop the fight over whose turn it was, the fight then morphed into who got to open the drawer to look at the chart to see whose turn it was to pray, and who got announce it.
5 comments:
Hahahaha! I laughed so much. Great post! I love my niece and nephew! :)
*nieces
Ah funny stuff. I did laugh. If I hadn't just had one of the roughest nights of my parenting life, I might have laughed more, but I couldn't agree more. My kids do the exact same thing which does in fact prove them to be laws.
The joys of parenting.
Nathan:
Great post. It is easy to see that you are a very observant and knowledgeable father. In addition to the indisputable laws you have identified, might I add another: The Law of Silence.
This law is only selectively applied. No particular training is required, somehow it is understood and implemented automatically by the offspring units. Here is how it works. When there is a puddle of mild on the floor and the parental unit asks, “Who spilled the milk?” Then the law kicks in. When the family room sofa pillows are strewn around and the question is raised, “Who messed the family room?” Again the Law of Silence is deafening. “Who ate the last cookie? Or Would someone like to help me clean the garage?” are sure fire ways to invoke the law.
You can always tell when the law of Silence applies because it is accompanied by a shrugging of the shoulders, raising of the eyebrows, and staring at the toes or the ceiling. Unfortunately this law does not apply to arguing, whose turn it is to choose the TV channel, sitting in Church, or when you are talking on the telephone.
No doubt you are already familiar with the Law of Selective Recall which applies to every reward you have ever mentioned. This law goes hand in hand with the Law of Amnesia which is complete loss of memory of any requirements to earn such a reward in the first place.
UGLI (U gotta luv it!)
Love,
Dad
Nathan, we're so glad you're back in the blogging business. Thanks for identifying these laws that ring so true. We laughed all the way through!
Love,
Mary Lee
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