Fourteen years ago when I first went to Argentina, I found myself surrounded by a large number of people that I couldn't understand very well. I had studied Spanish for some time, but my book learning was different from actually being on the street. There was, however, one little tool which I found most handy, and which I carried with me for the first several months--until everyone started speaking intelligibly: the Spanish-English Dictionary.
Now that I have a "whole big huge massive family", as one friend of mine recently observed, I thought all other parents might benefit from some of the key words and phrases which may too often be "lost in translation" with their children. Yes, I'm providing the Progenitor-Offspring Dictionary.
For 8-year old girls:
Word: Living Room Wall
Translation: Something to practice shooting a basketball against when it's too cold to go outside.
Word: Carolina Panthers Football
Translation: "Who cares? I like basketball!"
Word: T-shirt
Translation: It's called a jersey if it has a number on it somewhere.
Word: Softball
Translation: Basketball
Word: Nerf ball
Translation: Basketball
Word: Dinner
Translation: Basketball
Word: Father
Translation: Wallet
For 5 (almost 6) year old girls:
Word: Dinner
Translation: Ice Cream, Fruit Snacks, Peanut Butter Crackers, Candy
Phrase: "You're the worst dad ever."
Translation: "I'm too young to comprehend why it's unreasonable to consume ice cream, fruit snacks, peanut butter crackers and candy as my sole source of sustenance at meal time."
Phrase: "I never get to do anything I want."
Translation: "It has been approximately 3 minutes since we spent 60 minutes doing something that interests me."
Phrase: "I don't have any clothes!"
Translation: "Going all the way to the laundry room to check the laundry basket or dryer for clean clothes myself feels like 26.2 miles away for my little feet."
Word: Bed Time
Translation: Dinner Time
Word: Father
Translation: Wallet
For 3-year old boys:
Word: Furniture
Translation: Trampoline (see also Gymnasium)
Word: Baby Sister
Translation: "Plastic action figure whose arms don't stay where I position them."
Word: Big boy underwear
Translation: Diaper
Phrase: Family Scripture Study before bedtime
Translation: Recess!
Word: Big Sister
Translation: Master
Word: Hammer
Translation: Hammer
Word: Fork
Translation: Hammer
Word: Toy truck
Translation: Hammer
Word: Building blocks
Translation: Hammers
Word: Kitchen table
Translation: Trash can
For 2-month old girls:
Word: Sudden, blood-curdling scream
Translation: "Get the one they call 'Max' off of me!"
Word: Loud cry
Translation: "I hear the one they call 'Max' approaching...!"
Word: Sudden whimper
Translation: "Whose little hands keep knocking my plastic sucking plug out of my mouth?! (I'm outraged that you insinuate that the hands were mine.)"
Word: Constant cry
Translation: "It's been 20 minutes. Don't you guys ever eat around here?"
Word: Unconsolable cry
Translation: "It's 2:00 a.m. and I noticed that you were trying to sleep."
Hopefully, you will find these translations useful, and now that you are able to speak the language of your offspring, your parenting skills will be able to rise to a whole new level.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Happy Halloween
Max's birthday was before Ava's birthday but I posted it after posting about Ava's birthday, I now reserve the right to blog about any event during the year (or any subsequent years) in any order that I please. That's right, get ready for Christmas in April, Memorial Day on Labor Day, Labor Day on Memorial Day and Thanksgiving in November.
Today I have decided to post on Halloween.
Since Halloween fell on a Sunday this year, we had to innovent (a word that I just innovented--ahem, or stole from a TV program I saw, either one) a new way for the kids to get enough cavity-causing candy to pay for our 26-year old dentist's student loan payment this month.
Our masterplan began by having each of the kids dress up as something cute and adorable. Alison chose Kobe Bryant zombie with a basketball card notebook with plastic bag inside (a candy-catching mechanism which she innovented). What's more cute and adorable than that?
Despite the fact that we had already anticipated Kaitlyn's costume choice and ordered a BYU cheerleader outfit well ahead of time, Kaitlyn opted for pink Batgirl. When asked why she chose that costume, she pointed out that Catwoman's outfit is black (and thus apparently not quite as fashionable), and completely snubbed our desire for a modest and alma-mater-loyal cheer female.
Max was a one-eyed pirate (or a chef--as some people thought when he took off the hat, bandana and eye patch), but the disturbing thing was that what he liked most about the outfit was the fake earring. Rest assurred, I have since downloaded football games and construction truck flash cards apps onto my phone so that he's getting enough testosterone into his daily diet.
Avery asked nicely if she could be dressed up as a pink cheetah-leopard-giraffe, which we reluctantly accepted. She also contributed her best blood-curdling screams to the night. What's more cute and adorable than that?
The ward helped our plan by providing a Trunk-or-Treat on Friday night in the parking lot of the church building. The kids literally did laps and likely hit up each car 3 or 4 times until they were completely milked dry of treats.
On Saturday, with a group of friends from church, we hit up various neighbors and nearby friends homes--some of which had prepared extra large goodies for the kids' baskets.
I'm sure it will be a few months, but I'll be on the lookout for that thank you note from our dentist.
Today I have decided to post on Halloween.
Since Halloween fell on a Sunday this year, we had to innovent (a word that I just innovented--ahem, or stole from a TV program I saw, either one) a new way for the kids to get enough cavity-causing candy to pay for our 26-year old dentist's student loan payment this month.
Our masterplan began by having each of the kids dress up as something cute and adorable. Alison chose Kobe Bryant zombie with a basketball card notebook with plastic bag inside (a candy-catching mechanism which she innovented). What's more cute and adorable than that?
Despite the fact that we had already anticipated Kaitlyn's costume choice and ordered a BYU cheerleader outfit well ahead of time, Kaitlyn opted for pink Batgirl. When asked why she chose that costume, she pointed out that Catwoman's outfit is black (and thus apparently not quite as fashionable), and completely snubbed our desire for a modest and alma-mater-loyal cheer female.
Max was a one-eyed pirate (or a chef--as some people thought when he took off the hat, bandana and eye patch), but the disturbing thing was that what he liked most about the outfit was the fake earring. Rest assurred, I have since downloaded football games and construction truck flash cards apps onto my phone so that he's getting enough testosterone into his daily diet.
Avery asked nicely if she could be dressed up as a pink cheetah-leopard-giraffe, which we reluctantly accepted. She also contributed her best blood-curdling screams to the night. What's more cute and adorable than that?
The ward helped our plan by providing a Trunk-or-Treat on Friday night in the parking lot of the church building. The kids literally did laps and likely hit up each car 3 or 4 times until they were completely milked dry of treats.
On Saturday, with a group of friends from church, we hit up various neighbors and nearby friends homes--some of which had prepared extra large goodies for the kids' baskets.
I'm sure it will be a few months, but I'll be on the lookout for that thank you note from our dentist.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Mr. Max's Third
Hello blogosphere. I'm sure you're shocked at the recency of this post given my recent trend of posting every other blue moon. I thought I'd go ahead and pull a shocker on you.
So, Max just turned 3. Goodbye "Terrible Twos"! Bienvenidos "I-punch-my-sisters-all-the-Time Threes"! For his birthday he received toy phones, old used cell phones, phone looking devices and electronics looking thingies from everyone he knew. The boy is obsessed with phones. Case in point, during family scripture study tonight I asked Max why he wasn't following along in his book. He held up one of his many phones and said, "I have them on my phone!" He came over to me and showed me the (blank black) screen and said, "Is this the verse that we're on?"
I can't believe the boy is 3. He looks huge when you see him after holding Ava for a while.
Even when Megan said "Head up. Chin down!" trying to improve his pose, this is what she got:
It turns out you get much better pictures if the boy doesn't have a 100+ fever!
So, Max just turned 3. Goodbye "Terrible Twos"! Bienvenidos "I-punch-my-sisters-all-the-Time Threes"! For his birthday he received toy phones, old used cell phones, phone looking devices and electronics looking thingies from everyone he knew. The boy is obsessed with phones. Case in point, during family scripture study tonight I asked Max why he wasn't following along in his book. He held up one of his many phones and said, "I have them on my phone!" He came over to me and showed me the (blank black) screen and said, "Is this the verse that we're on?"
I can't believe the boy is 3. He looks huge when you see him after holding Ava for a while.
Megan went out to take Third Birthday pictures of him the other day and they weren't turning out so well.
Even when Megan said "Head up. Chin down!" trying to improve his pose, this is what she got:
It turns out you get much better pictures if the boy doesn't have a 100+ fever!
Happy Birthday buddy!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Ava's First Honkin' Bow
Megan was so excited when we found out we were having another girl so that she could dress her in these big ol' honkin' bows. We have several, but this is the only one that doesn't drown her head so far...
Friday, October 15, 2010
Avery Rae
Last night as Megan and I were watching the live East Coast broadcast of 30 Rock, she leaned over to me and said, "I've had 2 contractions in the last 30 minutes." Since all of our other children were at least 1 week early, and since this was 2 days before the official due date, we figured it was about time...
Megan had sporadic contractions throughout the night--but just enough to ensure that she didn't get a good night's sleep. The contractions continued after we woke up, and when Kaitlyn ran out to catch the school bus she was already yelling, "My mom might have Ava today!"
By around 10:00 a.m. or so this morning the contractions were starting to get fairly intense. When Kaitlyn was born we had gone to the hospital but were sent home because Megan wasn't close enough--which was pretty demoralizing. Not wanting to repeat the same experience, Megan called her doctor and Max and I drove Megan to see her doctor at noon where she found out that she was at a 4 or a 5, and was directed straight to the hospital.
We walked in the hospital doors at around 1:15 p.m. and our good friend and neighbor, Amy, was kind enough to come pick up Max from the hospital (and get Alison and Kaitlyn off the school bus--thank you!). By a little after 3:00 p.m. Megan had an epidural in and things were going great. Megan's mom and sister were finally allowed by the nurse to come in to the room to witness the birth (at Megan's prior invitation).
Just before 5:00 p.m. they checked Megan to see how things were progressing and the nurse almost literally ran out to get the doctor! One push later...Avery Rae was out. The 2 loops of her umbilical cord around her neck which were quickly removed, and she immediately began showing off her ability to look sad with a puffy lower lip.
Official stats--
Time of Birth: 5:01 p.m.
Weight: 7 pounds
Height: 19.5 inches
Diagnosis: Adorable
Megan and Ava are doing great, and we both commented how this labor and delivery seemed to go off the easiest of any of the children!
After making sure that everything was under control I left to pick up the kids from Amy and Todd's house so they could meet their new little sister!
Now...behold the Day 1 pics:
Megan had sporadic contractions throughout the night--but just enough to ensure that she didn't get a good night's sleep. The contractions continued after we woke up, and when Kaitlyn ran out to catch the school bus she was already yelling, "My mom might have Ava today!"
By around 10:00 a.m. or so this morning the contractions were starting to get fairly intense. When Kaitlyn was born we had gone to the hospital but were sent home because Megan wasn't close enough--which was pretty demoralizing. Not wanting to repeat the same experience, Megan called her doctor and Max and I drove Megan to see her doctor at noon where she found out that she was at a 4 or a 5, and was directed straight to the hospital.
We walked in the hospital doors at around 1:15 p.m. and our good friend and neighbor, Amy, was kind enough to come pick up Max from the hospital (and get Alison and Kaitlyn off the school bus--thank you!). By a little after 3:00 p.m. Megan had an epidural in and things were going great. Megan's mom and sister were finally allowed by the nurse to come in to the room to witness the birth (at Megan's prior invitation).
Just before 5:00 p.m. they checked Megan to see how things were progressing and the nurse almost literally ran out to get the doctor! One push later...Avery Rae was out. The 2 loops of her umbilical cord around her neck which were quickly removed, and she immediately began showing off her ability to look sad with a puffy lower lip.
Official stats--
Time of Birth: 5:01 p.m.
Weight: 7 pounds
Height: 19.5 inches
Diagnosis: Adorable
Megan and Ava are doing great, and we both commented how this labor and delivery seemed to go off the easiest of any of the children!
After making sure that everything was under control I left to pick up the kids from Amy and Todd's house so they could meet their new little sister!
Now...behold the Day 1 pics:
Monday, August 30, 2010
Top 10 Reasons We Haven't Blogged...
10. We returned from our June trip out west to 3-4 inches of standing water in our fully finished basement.
9. We had to clear out, rip out, and refinish our 1500 sq.ft. basement.
8. We headed back to Utah for vacation just 4 weeks after we got back.
7. The day we returned home from vacation, Nathan accepted a job at Bank of America in North Carolina. FYI, this was not sought after or planned, but we're very excited.
6. We suddenly had to prepare to sell our home, and of course we were still putting back together the basement. I had it on the market 1 week after we got home, thank you very much.
5. Nathan, of course, is still traveling every week with Accenture; he was in Switzerland last week (brought me back some yummy chocolates!)
4. I'm working to keep my home pristine, since at any moment I could have to show it.
3. I decided to take on sewing: burp cloths, carseat cover, crib bedding, etc. Why not?!
2. Let's not forget back-to-school craziness.
1. Oh yeah, I'm going to have a baby in a few weeks!
So, here's a picture from the girls' first day of school, just so I can say I've got pictures on my blog.
9. We had to clear out, rip out, and refinish our 1500 sq.ft. basement.
8. We headed back to Utah for vacation just 4 weeks after we got back.
7. The day we returned home from vacation, Nathan accepted a job at Bank of America in North Carolina. FYI, this was not sought after or planned, but we're very excited.
6. We suddenly had to prepare to sell our home, and of course we were still putting back together the basement. I had it on the market 1 week after we got home, thank you very much.
5. Nathan, of course, is still traveling every week with Accenture; he was in Switzerland last week (brought me back some yummy chocolates!)
4. I'm working to keep my home pristine, since at any moment I could have to show it.
3. I decided to take on sewing: burp cloths, carseat cover, crib bedding, etc. Why not?!
2. Let's not forget back-to-school craziness.
1. Oh yeah, I'm going to have a baby in a few weeks!
So, here's a picture from the girls' first day of school, just so I can say I've got pictures on my blog.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
The Age of Accountability
Well...it's official. We now have 1 more member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in our family. While we were in Utah last month for Megan's family reunion, Alison was baptized.
First of all, that meant wearing a "girly" dress for before and after (instead of a pair of basketball shorts, in which Ali would have been much more comfortable). Despite it's "girliness", Ali looked very grown-up and very adorable.
Kaitlyn (who has significant experience in the "being girly" department) was very supportive by recommending twirls, spins and runway-walks that Ali could use. Probably.
A whole host of family and friends came from all over Utah, Arizona, Indianapolis and even Provo to witness the event. (Pictured below from L to R: a whole host of people who love Alison).
Ali's friend Ashton (whose father conducted the meeting--thanks Barry!) supported Ali by giving her a nice card and baptism present. He also gave her tips on how to go under without having a foot, arm, piece of hair or other appendage come up out of the water requiring the ordinance to be performed again. Probably.
Max was supportive by failing at potty training in his khaki pants immediately before the meeting started, so we had to change him into a diaper and shorts. He was also supportive by eating as much as possible at the luncheon following the baptism.
I was supportive by performing the baptism and confirmation and wearing a white jumpsuit that looked like flood pants / highwaters. (I did take the black shoes off before going into the font.)
Our fathers, brothers-in-law and grandparents were supportive by standing in the circle for the confirmation.
My sisters were supportive by singing a duet during the program and by not letting Alison change out of her white dress before approximately 56 more pictures.
My parents were supportive by flying up to Utah to from Arizona to witness the event. (My dad also accompanied my sisters' musical number.)
Megan's parents were supportive by scheduling the baptism during the reunion.
Grandpa Scott was supportive by taking time out of his busy schedule to attend and taking time to talk to Alison individually. (Thank you!)
Megan's siblings were supportive by arriving on time to give talks, conducting music, and coordinating the luncheon.
We're so proud of you Alison, and will continue to support you throughout your life as you continue to make these good choices! We love you!
First of all, that meant wearing a "girly" dress for before and after (instead of a pair of basketball shorts, in which Ali would have been much more comfortable). Despite it's "girliness", Ali looked very grown-up and very adorable.
Kaitlyn (who has significant experience in the "being girly" department) was very supportive by recommending twirls, spins and runway-walks that Ali could use. Probably.
A whole host of family and friends came from all over Utah, Arizona, Indianapolis and even Provo to witness the event. (Pictured below from L to R: a whole host of people who love Alison).
Ali's friend Ashton (whose father conducted the meeting--thanks Barry!) supported Ali by giving her a nice card and baptism present. He also gave her tips on how to go under without having a foot, arm, piece of hair or other appendage come up out of the water requiring the ordinance to be performed again. Probably.
Max was supportive by failing at potty training in his khaki pants immediately before the meeting started, so we had to change him into a diaper and shorts. He was also supportive by eating as much as possible at the luncheon following the baptism.
I was supportive by performing the baptism and confirmation and wearing a white jumpsuit that looked like flood pants / highwaters. (I did take the black shoes off before going into the font.)
Our fathers, brothers-in-law and grandparents were supportive by standing in the circle for the confirmation.
My sisters were supportive by singing a duet during the program and by not letting Alison change out of her white dress before approximately 56 more pictures.
My parents were supportive by flying up to Utah to from Arizona to witness the event. (My dad also accompanied my sisters' musical number.)
Megan's parents were supportive by scheduling the baptism during the reunion.
Grandpa Scott was supportive by taking time out of his busy schedule to attend and taking time to talk to Alison individually. (Thank you!)
Megan's siblings were supportive by arriving on time to give talks, conducting music, and coordinating the luncheon.
We're so proud of you Alison, and will continue to support you throughout your life as you continue to make these good choices! We love you!
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